Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Real Life, Mom Life: Struggling


I have been having kind of a hard time these last few weeks. Going back to work after having the whole summer with little Bo has been an even harder adjustment than I thought. I'm having a really hard time with it. I have friends that are stay at home moms that just tell me to quit. But what they don't understand is that it isn't the right time for my family. And for some reason a few people have a hard time understanding that and it's almost as though they judge me for being a working mom. Trust me, if I could, I would be a stay at home mom but like I said, now is not the right time. And that's okay. It's hard, but I'm grateful that I have a college degree and that I have a good job to help support my family.  
I like my job, I love being around kids, teaching them, and being a good role model for them. But it has been a really hard adjustment this year. Boston is also teething and he may have a cold. I also have a cold. So for the past week life has been kind of hard at home too. I was feeling like crap on Monday so I decided to write up some sub plans and take a day off work. And man, I needed that day. I stayed home with Boston, we played a lot, we snuggled a lot, and we napped a lot. Sometimes you just need a day where you do nothing. Yeah, that's what weekends are for but I feel like you're always going places and doing something. I honestly wanted to use my day off to rest and finally get my house clean but I didn't. And that's fine! A day full of nothing was just what I needed.
The social media world makes everyone's lives seem perfect. Of course you don't want others to see the not-so-perfect parts of your life. So this post was actually a little hard to write, especially since I feel like no one quite understands what I'm going through, and some of you are going to judge me. 
I have posed a few questions on my blog to working moms and I have never gotten a response, so I'm not sure how many working moms will actually read this post and if there is anyone that will be able to relate to me. But, I am struggling. It's hard. It's tiring. It's worth it, I know that. Some days it's hard to find the good in being a working mom rather than staying home with my boy. But these next few years will make it so that I can eventually be a stay at home mom.

4 comments:

  1. My sister also teaches like you and she has a little at home. It was hard for her but life is expensive. That upsets me that other people are giving you a hard time when you can't help it. Don't let them get to you. My sister just recently switched to part time teaching and she loves it! Maybe you can work your way to being able to do that.

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  2. Kiana it is so so hard! Everyday I go to work my heart breaks a little knowing that they are with someone else all day. I wished it got easier but it really doesn't. And I totally understand the need to work, I'm in the same boat. I'd love to stay at home but we can't right now with our family situation. Soon though when the hubby is done with grad school I'll hopefully get that chance. But I totally hear you. Being a working home is just hard. You just have to remember you are doing what's best for your family and that is something to be proud of.

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  3. Kiana it is so so hard! Everyday I go to work my heart breaks a little knowing that they are with someone else all day. I wished it got easier but it really doesn't. And I totally understand the need to work, I'm in the same boat. I'd love to stay at home but we can't right now with our family situation. Soon though when the hubby is done with grad school I'll hopefully get that chance. But I totally hear you. Being a working home is just hard. You just have to remember you are doing what's best for your family and that is something to be proud of.

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  4. My mom worked full time while I was growing up and honestly I don't know how you ladies do it! You're all super women! I have a hard enough time being a mom staying at home, and you work all day and then mom it up on top of that! Kiana, you're incredible and you're doing what you feel is right!

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